Good Feelings from Positive Words
Dr. Gary Epler – The new way of life is knowing who you are moment by moment which means know where you’re thinking from and that’s who you are. Think from the heart with kindness and giving. Think from the mind with creativity to help others and innovation to build products and services to improve people’s lives. Today we’re going to talk about the good feeling from thinking, writing, and saying positive words.
Joan – What do you mean?
Positive words come from the heart, and they feel good. Studies of conversations among families and workers show improved happiness and productivity when more positive words are used.
Why do positive words mean so much?
Positive words come from the heart. Negative words come from the head anger center and stress center.
Can you give an example?
Words like kindness, love, beautiful, giving, and trust all come from the heart with a good feeling. Words like angry, cruel, evil, jealous, and profanity come from the head with a bad, unhealthy feeling.
Joan – You’re right. Positive words feel good. What’s a positive word ratio?
A positive word ratio is number of positive words divided by the number of negative words. For example, if someone says three positive words for every negative word in a conversation, that’s a positive ratio of three. If someone says two negative words for every positive word, that’s a negative ratio of two.
What do studies about the positive word ratio show?
Surprisingly, the ratio needs to be high at three to five for positive, healthy feelings. If you have pleasant conversations, you’re both using three positive words for every negative word, a positive word ratio of three. A ratio below three has a neutral effect. As expected, a negative ratio causes stress in a conversation and can have serious consequences.
What do you mean, serious consequences?
Researchers counted the positive and negative words used by spouses and calculated the ratio. They found a positive word ratio of three to five was seen in happy marriages, but a negative word ratio was common among divorced couples.
Sounds dramatic. Why would negative words have such a bad outcome?
Negative words come from the head anger center and the head stress center when people are thinking about themselves. Close personal relationships are built on trust, giving, and people being their true selves. If people are using negative words from the stress center, they’re not thinking from the heart with kindness and giving to others.
You developed a positive word game, what is it?
It’s the positive alphabet word game. It’s simple. Think of a positive word that starts with A like amazing, B like beautiful, C like courage, and go through the alphabet. The letter X is hard for anyone to answer.
It feels good to play this game. I thought of the answer for X. It’s XOXO and means love! How does a positive word ratio help at work?
Researchers develop a device to measure the positive word ratio at work. They measure the ratio before and after people learn to stop thinking about themselves from the stress center. Findings show increased productivity and creativity when managers and employees have a higher positive word ratio.
How does this happen?
People learn to stop using negative words from the anger center toward other employees and the boss. They stop using negative words from the stress center like criticism, blame, and judgment. People can only think from one location at a time, so they no longer think from the head anger and stress center, but think from the heart with kindness and giving, and think from the mind for creativity to help coworkers or innovation to improve products and services.
Joan – Use positive words. They come from the heart and feel good. Do you have any closing comments?
Dr. Gary Epler – You’re right. Use positive words. Have a positive word ratio when you write and talk. Think from the heart with kindness and giving. Be exceptional by being your true self. This is a new way of life for extraordinary living.